...is just feeling like too much right now.

I find myself crying in the middle of the night... thinking that i just can´t handle it.... I just CAN'T haddle it.... i start to doubt myself and on top of everything i find myself questioning my own decisions... it all hurts... to walk, to eat, to remember... it all hurts.... it is true what the song says... I`ve had my fair share of take cares and goodbyes... this last one just blew what was left of my strenght away. My heart is just feeling too much right now.

How am I supposed to take it? How am I supposed to move on when one of the most important souls in my life is no longer around . Yes... when that person is gone.... The grown up person, the responsible one, the one who is suppose to love me without condition... the one who could always help me somehow... the one that I love back in such an uneven proportion because she started to love me without even knowing how I was to turn up like... and so uneven because I felt her love in so many ways that just fell short on loving her back. I miss her. All of her. Every little piece of her.